Every once in awhile people will say that things are changing at meetings. 

They say this in such a hopeful voice, as if they really want to believe it. 

But is it possible?

(SEE "HOW WE GET INTO BONDAGE AND CAN'T GET OUT" BELOW)

NO!  I am sorry to say, it isn’t possible. 

They might be able to change a few rules because the rules have constantly changed…..

• The Tramps quit tramping,

• The Black Stockings slithered into history,

• The boys got rid of brown underwear,

• The women got rid of hats and claimed their bun for a head-covering,

• They eliminated bicycles in favor of cars,

^{Every family is different.}

Every person is different.

Every worker, locality and time period is different.

Therefore, what is the purpose of looking at a Two-by-Two childhood?

Maybe none.

But it is worthy of note that nearly every person raised as a Two-by-Two, mentions the same kinds of feelings and experiences. The Two-by-Two system has changed somewhat since it first began in 1897.

Therefore, care must be taken against the obvious fallacy of saying this is how it is, was or will always be.

Methods for Becoming More Self-Reliant and Independent

Posted by Jan Groenveld - (Sadly, Jan is now deceased)
Cult Awareness & Information Centre - Australia
2x2 List on September 24th, 2000

Level IV: Self-concept, attitudes, expectations, values, and motivation.

If you have few values and goals of your own, if you feel inadequate and helpless, if you believe fate or other people are guiding your life, if you truly believe others are more important than you, if you only want to sacrifice and support others, it is not possible to be an independent, self-reliant, self-actualizing person.

Guiding Principles: To be self-directed requires certain guiding principles – a personal philosophy of life - that are constantly used. Our major life goals and objectives should be clear to us. See Chapter 3. Ask yourself: What needs to be changed in my family, my school, my job, my town, or the world that I'm not helping with??? Are these answers valid or excuses? How can I remove the barriers preventing me from doing what I think I should? Most of us probably need a mission or a cause to spur us into action.

By Threshing Floor Ministries -  Mary Ann Schoeff

(Mary Ann was never a 2x2)

(Opinion Statement - Page 1 - Page 2) September 21, 1998 - qualified and sworn in as an expert on the Two-by-Twos during the Dorey & Dorey v. Steingard custody trial - Compilation by James K. Arends Law Office

Excerpt from James K. Arends letter:

"Fortunately, we take heart in the fact that during this litigation we were able to partially drag the Two-by-Twos from the shadows and work towards exposing the group for what it really is, an abusive church which often has a detrimental impact on its members from a physical, spiritual, emotional, and sexual perspective."

Recovery includes acknowledging and understanding the deception.

(See Comments Below)

• Gradually, preoccupation with feelings thoughts and behaviors associated with professing will lessen.
  

• Let time be your ally, but don't expect it alone to heal you. You must actively and of your own initiative, face the issues of your involvement in "the truth."
  

• A clear and intellectual understanding of cults and thought reform is vital to your recovery.
  

• Many former members selectively deny aspects of their experience in "the way," but feelings of shame and not speaking out may increase the harm done and can prevent healing. Traumatic effects of your life in "the truth," must be confronted and explored in order to diminish their impact.
  

• Your healing will be swifter if you allow yourself to feel the grief.
  

• Recovery is a process - - one that never really stops and every day in every way, you will get better and better.

There is no magic wand to make feelings go away quickly. Healing cannot be rushed, but it will take place. Ex-members experience emotions of joy, doubt, relief, anger, regret, freedom, fear, etc. Fear, a very powerful weapon, is the backbone of mind control. Anger is one of the first signs of recovery. Finding someone to listen to your experiences and your feelings is a vital part of healing.

 *!^%+! Slang ^>!#~+#

 - - -COMMENTS- - -

In our house we were not to use words such as: Gee, Gosh, Gollie, GeeWiz, Darn, and Geez. I remember being at your house, ____, and hearing them all the time.

>>We all inherited a rather colorful turn of phrase from my grandfather I think. (unfortunately 4 years in the army really enhanced my abilities in this area)

Those words were used rather frequently in our household until the 70's when someone pointed out to my mom that these words were created by vaudeville performers who weren't allowed to use the lord's name in vain. Since that seems pretty obvious we made some attempt to remove them from our vocabulary.<<

In our home, I would have had my mouth washed out with soap, been slapped across the face, confined to my room without dinner for use of slang! HOW do I know I would have been? I WAS! LOL....spent many nights hungry as a kid...! ...Any word that replaced "hell" (heck, etc) "damn" (dang, etc), "God" (Gol etc), or "Jesus" (geez, geewhiz, etc), (OR ANY BODY function!) was definitely NOT allowed! 6/97

I was not allowed to say any of the slang words that was common those days. (which by the way were mild to what we hear nowadays) i.e. If I said "Oh, my goodness" I was quickly reminded that there was no good in mankind.

Some of this stuff may be repeats from my other writings, but you’ll get over it.  When I write, I’m talking about the majority of F&Ws, not all.  There are so many thoughts I want to write about.  I think they can all be connected somehow in a single offering. 

So here goes.

•  BORN IN THE WAY

I remember back to when I was very young.  I was so thankful to be born in ‘the way’.  I was thankful I didn’t have to fight the blindness that the world has.  I equated it to being born in America.  What a blessing!  What a blessing to be born in the truth, the right way!  Now I look back and John 8:33 comes to mind:

There is an unusual code which rigidly binds people who follow the workers. 

The spirit of

FEAR

discourages members and their families from thinking through the logic of the Bible on their own. And there is an ethic of misplaced faith in the workers which keeps people from asking questions about what the workers do and why they do them or what they believe and why they believe it.