A Sample, Generic Exit Letter Written to Family by an Ex-Mormon

Letters from those exiting Two-by-Twoism:

 - - -COMMENTS- - -

Hi all. I am going through the stage of letting my parents know that I am exiting.

It is the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. I hate knowing what I am doing to them. Through their belief I am being deceived by the devil and I am heading for hell.

I don't know how to tell other people why I have quit.

• FIRST STAGE:             First Doubts

• SECOND STAGE:        Seeking Alternatives

• THIRD STAGE:            The Turning Point

• FOURTH STAGE:        The Exit

DISENGAGEMENT & DISIDENTIFICATION

An ex goes through various stages in the process of disengaging her/himself from a role and in
re-establishing another role identity for her/himself. Whether one is moving from childhood to
adolescence, from employment to unemployment, from single life to marriage, or vice versa,
each of these movements involves a disengagement from the values, norms, social supports and
ways of thinking that are associated with the group or relationship one is leaving.  Every ex
has been involved in a process of disengagement and disidentification, of withdrawing from the
expectations and obligations associated with a role.

A Sample, Generic Exit Letter Written to Family by an Ex-Mormon 

• You may find it therapeutic to write down and crystallize the feelings and thoughts that led up to your making one of the hardest decisions in your life. 

• It is very healing and comforting to read your feelings in print which were written by someone else who experienced the same thing. 

• To know others felt like you did/do; to have confirmed that you weren't alone or crazy!  People crave confirmation of their thoughts and suspicions.

Leaving is not easy. -- It is a process in the mind.

DISENGAGEMENT & DIS-IDENTIFICATION

An ex goes through various stages in the process of disengaging her/himself from a role and in re-establishing another role identity for her/himself. Whether one is moving from childhood to adolescence, from employment to unemployment, from single life to marriage, or vice versa, each of these movements involves a disengagement from the values, norms, social supports and ways of thinking that are associated with the group or relationship one is leaving. Every ex has been involved in a process of disengagement and disidentification, of withdrawing from the expectations and obligations associated with a role.

FIRST STAGE: First Doubts

(4.) Specific Events

(5.) Discrepancies and Contradictions

I don't know where to begin exactly and I don't want to send a novel!

I guess you could say that I am sitting on the fence right now.

I am currently “professing,” going to meeting, and in fact, have Wednesday night meeting in our home. My mother's parents professed in the 1930's and my mom professed in the 50's, so I was born and raised, albeit in a divided home since my dad did not profess,.....although his mother and some siblings did.

I professed in the late 1960's. I have always believed in God even as a little girl.

I believed this 'way' was the 'only way.'

But certain things have bothered me over the years, like absolutely no pants for women ever, ..........movies are unacceptable, but going to a play is OK, .........hair is supposed to be in a bun, although I couldn't find any reference to a bun in the Bible, ........the heavy emphasis on never, ever missing a meeting for any reason (except being on your death bed), the fact that no one will be saved but the 'friends,” etc!

When someone is professing, no one ever asks another about that person's spirit and does he/she seem to have a love for God, and so forth.

No, the question is, “How is her/his meeting attendance?”

Even with these concerns, however, I did not doubt that this was the only way because this is what I had been taught by my mom and others. My mom was a wonderful, kind lady though, and she was fairly lenient in my upbringing.

We were a DIVIDED HOME and there was nothing that could be done to remedy that save one thing:

I needed to profess.

Some of you know more about me than do others. I am not an ex 2x2.  My connection to the cult is through marriage. 19 years ago next month, I married a wonderful man who was a part of what I then, innocently believed was simply a small, earnest, fundamentalist Christian group. A life long Methodist, I considered myself a Christian without being a devout bible scholar. My mother was raised in the Roman Catholic faith, my father Protestant and as a result, I grew up in a family where religion and faith were put to this fairly liberal test: If one's beliefs were honest, then who was I to question/correct/doubt the worth of that faith? Religion (including its rejection, if that was the case) was viewed as a personal choice and that choice was to be respected. When I married, I had no reason to believe that that respect would not be returned. In hindsight, I now know that I was breathtakingly naive.

The slaughter of the innocents by the 2x2s is NOT about religion or faith. It is about abuse.

For the next 16 1/2 years, our marriage was subjected to the most obscene campaign of subterfuge imaginable.

March 2000

My name is Wilma Englishbee Davis.  I have been on the list for over 2 years reading, crying, laughing and praying with all of you.  I've sent a couple of posts to The List, but have never sent my story.  I'm not going to be quiet anymore.

I was born and raised in the truth in Houston, TX, (Pasadena).  I was the 3rd generation (on both sides of my family) to be raised in this religion.  My maternal grandparents were both workers before they married.  I have an aunt who used to be in the work, but is now married and has convention on her property.

We had Wednesday night meeting in our home as far back as I can remember until my parents divorced; then the workers took meeting out of our home. I professed at age 10 at Georgetown (Austin) convention.  My dad always made sure our family sat on the front row!  The workers used to praise him about how well-behaved his children were.  If we started to nod off during service, my dad would flick us on the ear with his fingers to keep us awake!

Six hours a day, for 4 days we had to keep our heads tilted back looking up at the workers on the platform.  Just some of my "fond" memories of convention.

The Meaning and Significance of Mind Control