Mass Confusion—Part 1
There is not only going to be a lot of mass confusion, at the Pearly Gates,
someday, but I am fairly certain it is going on right now.
As our story begins, the time comes for Mrs. Always Right to die, and she approaches the gates. She is very confident that she will go right straight into Heaven, because she has spent a lifetime in the Only Way. She has done a fair bit of "work," making sure that everyone else knew they were going to Hell, who were not in this "way," and she has a whole purse full of Brownie Points to prove it. She has criticized, judged, shown no compassion, has not had a thing to do with anyone who was not in The Way, has kept herself separated from the world, has obeyed all the rules, and was anticipating this Eternal Rest with all of her friends and workers.
Mrs. Always Right is listing all these accomplishments to St. Peter, and while she is talking to St. Peter, and telling him that she was in the Only Way, another lady by the name of Jenny Willeye (J.W. for short) comes up and listens to the conversation.
"What do you mean," she hollers, "that you are in the Only Way? I am in the Only Way, and I never saw you before in my life! What is the name of your Church?"
Mrs. Always Right points her nose toward the clouds and says, "We do not take a name, or have a church, because Jesus didn't take a name and he worshipped in homes."
"Just a moment," says J.W., "I think I have heard of you people. You do so take a name, you take our name. You call yourselves ‘The Way’, ‘The Truth’ and "Friends," and some people call you "The 2X2's."
"What do you mean?" cries Mrs. Always Right, "We are the Friends, and the Way, and the Truth.."
Just at that moment another soul arrives, with a look of outrage on her face. "You are both out to lunch, if you want my opinion," this lady declares. "I am in the Only Way to Heaven. The devil has sure got you both fooled."
"What is your name, pray tell?" asks Mrs. Always Right.
"My name is Mrs. Mormon, and there is no other way but my way. We have always been the only right way, and you two have a considerable amount of nerve."
St. Peter is getting tired of this conversation that he has heard so many times before.
"My dear ladies," St. Peter says, as he scratches his head, "We have a room reserved for you, and there are already thousands of Only Wayers in there. No man comes to the Father but by Jesus Christ. No man ever started any Only Way, so you must go to this room, and stay there until you confess that only Jesus is Lord, The Truth, and The Way."
Mrs. Always Right is having a fit, and does not want to be in any room with all these liars. While St. Peter is occupied by the arrival of more and more Only Wayers she slips over to the door of the room they are all to go into, and sneaks a peak through the tiny window. What she sees is mayhem. People are fighting, yelling and screaming, cursing each other, and each one in turn is telling another one that he or she is going to Hell. Catholics are fighting with Protestants, ladies who have long hair are pulling at each other’s buns, the noise is deafening as each one protests that they are the only right way. Poor Mrs. Always Right is bewildered by the sight.
She approaches St. Peter and asks what she is to do with all the "work" and Brownie Points she has in her purse.
"They are useless," says St. Peter, "Jesus has done all the work there is to do. When you get your priorities straight, and figure out which is indeed the only right way, then you can take them and trade them in for grace."
Mass Confusion—Part 2
Poor Mrs. Always Right is in a great state. However, just when she thinks that she is doomed to go into the room with all of the devils, men and angels, she looks over her shoulder, and there, standing in line, is one of her church’s dignitaries. Relief floods over her, and she feels weak with joy. It was only last week that she had sat under the sound of his Gospel, and if anyone could straighten St. Peter out, it would be this lowly, humble, Only Way representative. He is in one of the only true Servants of God—one of the very special, select, holy followers and representatives of Christ. She shivers with glee as she thinks of St. Peter being put in his place, and the prospects of being in Heaven and sitting forever at the feet of this dignitary. He will be so pleased that her purse of Brownie Points and works is just bulging, to the point of overflowing, and she is so glad that she was not defiled with "the world" or the people in it.
Mrs. Always Right has absolutely no intention of trading in her good works and Brownie Points for grace. Grace is something that all those false prophets preach, that encourages people to be free. Free is just another way of taking your own way, and has nothing to do with "dying daily," which she has practiced right to the end.
Mrs. Always Right is sure that being closed up with all the people that she had firmly refused to have anything to do with, people that are filled with the devil and his angels, is something that she could never do. But at last help is at hand, and she is going to be saved by the only source of salvation there is.
She sidles over closer to where St. Peter, and her savior, the true servant of God in the Only Way, are talking. She does not want to miss a word of this discourse. She plunks her proud-of-being-in-the-Only-Way hat firmly down on her head, and her nose reaches a little closer to the Heavens.
Mrs. J. W. and Mrs. Mormon have become fairly talkative, and are conversing regarding who this newest arrival is, and wishing with all their hearts that one of their Only Way leaders were there to take their part..
"Name please," says St. Peter to the newest arrival.
The gentleman in question looks fairly startled, and says to St. Peter, "Hi, St. Peter. You must be joking! You know me. I am one of the only true servants of God. My name is Mr. Power Pole. I prop people up, and keep them honest in the straight and narrow, and sift the tares out, to keep the Kingdom pure."
"Oh, right," says St. Peter, "I was hoping to see you soon, before you did any more damage."
"Oh!" shrieks Mr. Pole, "What on earth do you mean? I was purging the Kingdom."
Mrs. Always Right has suddenly taken a turn for the worse, and has turned quite pale.
"Well," says St. Peter, "You cut quite a swath. You hurt, discouraged and depressed many precious souls, and none of the works that you did so perfectly have any connection with following Jesus, who is Grace, peace, love , care and hope. It is not your job to purge the Kingdom, and separate the wheat from the tares: That is the exclusive right of our Creator, and you, sir, have stepped out of line big time. You are just a man, and like every other man on earth, you are also a sinner; and your sins in particular, have a vivid scarlet tint. So off you go into the room for the Only Right Ways. There are many men and women in there that claim special status, and who have abused others. So you and they can compare notes, and when you repent, come back and see me, and we will see what we can do.
"There were many that asked you questions, when you were on earth," St. Peter tells Mr. Pole. "You disciplined and lied to them, and cut them off. There is a whole book of questions in the room, that in order to get out, you have to answer, so you may just as well run along, and start on the list."
If anyone ever needed to be propped up, it is Mr. Pole. He slumps over in a dead faint. Mrs. Always Right is astounded by this turn of events, and the other two are praying that their leaders will show up, and show them all just exactly who is in the right Only Way.
Mass Confusion—Part 3
Now that Mr. Pole is apparently somewhat recovered, although he is still propped up against a wall, Mrs. Always Right takes a moment to look around. Mr. Pole has no idea that the worst is yet to come. In the meantime Mrs. Always Righthas noticed another long line, and some of these strangers, with joy and peace on their faces, are coming over to the Only Right Way’s lineup, and they were hugging (of all things) Mrs. J. W. and Mrs. Mormon.
This causes another shiver to run up Mrs. Always Right’s spine, and she moves out of the way, lest the Devil’s angels confront her. She overhears the strangers talking about Grace versus Works, so she has no trouble identifying them for what they are. The line up they are in is twice as long as the Only Right Wayers, which also is of considerable length. On the wide door of the room they are destined to enter, in large bold letters, is printed the word. HEL---P. On the gate that she has noticed, GRACE is painted in bold letters.. While the path that she and her Only Way peers is on is quite wide, the strangers’ path is narrow, and ends at a very straight gate.
Beside the gate is another big door with a huge heart painted on it. ‘That cannot be the way to Heaven,’ thinks Mrs. Always Right, ‘because there are too many people, and they are all decked out in gold and jewels, short hair, some are in pant suits, and they all look terribly worldly.’ She gets St. Peter’s attention and asks about the gate and the door with the heart on it.
St Peter replies that the gate and path are the straight and narrow way that leads to Heaven, and the door with the Heart represents everyone's heart’s door that Jesus knocks on to invite people into His Way.
"Well," says Mrs. Always Right, "Something is very wrong here. There are far more people lined up at that gate than us Only Wayers, and the BIBLE says that few there will be that find it. After Mrs. Always Right has tried to digest that information without much luck, she asks St. Peter if she could have a peek through the Gate.
St. Peter gives the go-ahead, and Mrs. Always Right, with a lot of trepidation, goes over and peers through the gate.
The first thing that catches her eye is a neighbor of hers who was always yakking about Jesus and Gods amazing grace; and if there ever was a sinner she was it, so what on earth is she doing in Heaven? She was dolled up like a Christmas tree, most of the time, and of all things, went down right into the pits of Hell and worked with stinking drunks, prostitutes and drug users. ‘Yuck!’ thinks Mrs. Always Right. Now, to make matters worse, this deplorable person is in there laughing, dancing and jumping up and down, praising the Lord. And the look of pure joy and peace on her face would make anyone’s stomach turn.
All the streets are paved with gold, and it looks like a huge party going on, with bands and music and angels playing harps. Over the whole room, which stretches for miles, is a banner of LOVE, and there is a banquet of enormous proportions.
Mrs. Always Right demands that St. Peter tell her just how come Heaven is full of sinners. St. Peter says, "They are not sinners now: They have been cleansed by the blood of Christ. Their sins have been washed away, and they have all been saved by grace. They did not climb up some other way, but entered in at the straight gate from the narrow way, which is Jesus’ Way."
As the reality of the whole situation starts to sink in, it is Mrs. Always Right’s turn to faint dead away, and all the Propper Uppers came rushing over give her their services.
Mass Confusion—Part 4
[Author’s Note: "It says in the Bible that it is appointed unto man once to live and then to die, and then the Judgement. This saga of course is fictional, based on that statement. However I do not think that some of the discourse between these fictional characters is very far from the truth. I think it would be wonderful to give these folks another chance, based on mercy and grace."]
St. Peter demands silence. He is shuffling through some papers, and beckons Mr. Pole to come forward. St. Peter says to Mr. Pole that he has previously mentioned some questions that had to be answered, from a list that he has composed. St. Peter asks Mr. Pole, scanning through his Only Way papers, why that Only Way claims to have no name; also, why are they called "Friends" and "The Way" and "The Truth." St. Peter is looking at the letterhead of a document, which says "The Assembly Of Christian Conventions" on it. St. Peter demands an explanation of this contradiction.
Mrs. J. W., who has been listening attentively to the conversation, pipes up and says, "We are The Friends, The Way, The Truth, and Jehovah’s Only Witnesses, and we make no bones about our names."
"I am not asking you any questions at the moment," says St. Peter. "Be assured that your turn will come." Mrs. Mormon is itching to explain her Only Way, but decides to keep quiet and wait her turn.
"Now," says St. Peter, turning his full attention on Mr. Pole, "why is it that you say you have no name, and in front of my eyes are several names?"
"Well, er," stammers Mr. Pole, "we have to be identified, as something."
"It appears to me," says St. Peter, "that something happens to be a whole slew of names.
"Continuing the questions," says St. Peter, "what kind of service did you ever perform? In what manner, did you ever serve the Master or His people?"
"Well," Mr. Pole answers, "I gave my life for the Gospel’s sake."
"Ah! Gave your life! How did you get here?" asks St. Peter.
"Car Accident," replies Mr. Pole.
"When you got into the car, did you plan on dying?" queries St. Peter.
"Of course not," answers Mr. Pole.
"Then would you please tell me, Mr. Pole, how you managed to give your life for the Gospel’s sake? Were you not, in fact, alive, before you got involved in the car accident? Were you planning suicide, or were you counting on a crucifixion?" asks St. Peter. "If not, please explain to me how you gave your life."
"Well," says Mr. Pole, defensively, "when you die daily for the Gospel’s sake, you die to all your own wants and needs, and live a life of chastity, and never own a house or car, and give up a lot of things to bring the gospel to people."
"Chastity?" echoes St. Peter. "Chastity?" he repeats, after scanning Mr. Pole’s dossier. "Some of the reports I see here do not add up to chastity. And," he continues, "you have the use of many homes, many cars, much funding, travel to a lot of countries— privileges that most people never see. You have no bills to pay, and in short, according to these papers, you pretty much live the life of Riley, and I see very little dying of any kind, much less daily dying. Do you consider this privileged lifestyle a great cross to bear for the Gospel’s sake? Do you feel that this cross you supposedly bear comes close in any respect to the cross Jesus bore? Do you think by any chance that you have ever suffered a smidgen compared to the suffering of our Savior? Members of your sect claim to be imitators of Jesus, but have you ever slept outside, with a stone for a pillow? Has anyone in your travels ever given you a drink of vinegar when you were thirsty, or put a crown of piercing thorns on your head?"
"I hardly know what to say," replies Mr. Pole, with a very red face, "when you put it that way."
St. Peter responds, "I think the only answer you could truthfully come up with is ‘No, no matter what way you put it, I have not died daily for the Gospel’s sake.’"
Mr. Pole is silent, looking this way and that as if to find a defense.
Then St. Peter’s voice rings out with authority. "You have been lying! Are you aware Mr. Pole, that there are many people who do not have homes or cars, and people who sleep in cardboard boxes down on Skid Row ? These people who refuse to support themselves, and are definitely ‘dying daily,’ are commonly called dropouts, and worse. The only differences are that they are not claiming to do it for Jesus’ sake, and they are not nearly as comfortable and well taken care of as you are, and they know a lot more about suffering than you do."
In the mean time Mrs. Always Right has discovered that the service that the Only Way hot shots are providing is nothing like what she had always provided for them. They do not have a clue how to serve, and their meals are nothing but gunk.
Just as these thoughts are running through her mind, there is a commotion at the end of the line. There are two new arrivals by the names of Miss Depressed and Mrs. Never Worthy. They are both weeping uncontrollably, and Mrs. Always Right, hears one of them wail to Mrs. J.W., who is offering her knowledge, "Please tell me this is not true. . ."
Mass Confusion—Part 5
By now Mrs. Always Right is suffering. Talk about Mass Confusion. She is fighting a battle such as she has never fought before, and her bag of "tricks" (Brownie points and works) suddenly seems to weigh a ton. She hoists it up onto her shoulder and sits down to do some real thinking.
She has always been so loyal to her leaders. She has never questioned their motives or authority. When St. Peter was questioning Mr. Pole, Mr. Pole was a wimp. All he could do was stutter and stammer, and let his face turn several shades more red. Why did he not have an answer for St. Peter, who had even compared him to a bum on the street? Why did he not call on the Holy Spirit he was always talking about, and get a "word" from the Lord? Had they not always claimed that their words came directly to them from the Holy Spirit ? Where was the Holy Spirit when Mr. Pole was stammering and stuttering? Nothing he said to St. Peter sounded very holy to her. If he is not, as St. Peter had suggested, an only true Servant of God (God forgive me for entertaining that possibility, she thinks), then why did he claim to be one, for all of her lifetime?
St. Peter had accused Mr. Pole of lying. God's only true servants would never lie—of that Mrs. Always Right is fairly certain. Her head aches as it has never ached before. She has never questioned so much. Mr. Pole had told her not to question, before she died, and so she blindly obeyed him. The more she thought, the more confused she became, and for the last few nights she had hardly got a wink of sleep. It must be because she is so tired, but she is starting to think very hateful thoughts, which produce massive guilt. Such a rage is building in her that she is not sure what she will do next.
Just then Mr. Pole wanders over, and before she even pauses to think, she stands up, takes her bag of Brownie Points and works off her shoulder, and winds up and throws it at him with all her might. She is so angry she is totally beside herself. But immediately the fear that has been part of her all those years takes over, and she starts shaking like a leaf.
Several Propper-Uppers come rushing over, and devil themselves up between Mr. Pole and herself. Mr. Pole is livid. He screeches, "I can tell you one thing, you devil, if we were back on earth, you would be excommunicated immediately, and sent to Hell so quick that it would be months before you would realize what happened to you."
St. Peter has witnessed this drama, and comes over to where Mrs. Always Right and Mr. Pole, are being Propped up.
"Speaking of sending people to Hell," says St. Peter, "could you please tell me, in your own words, on whose authority you perform those acts? Would you kindly show me the keys to Heaven and Hell that you appear to use at will?"
"I don't have any damned keys," shouts Mr. Pole, who has gone ballistic. Now not only is he being Propped up, he is being restrained from violence by his helpers. He had never ever thought that he would be so humiliated, in front of several of his converts, and his pride is screaming in pain. To think that he has no recourse, and can not send Mrs. Always Right to Hell, or watch her suffer and squirm from any of the punishment he used to mete out at random! It is just too much! Imagine, throwing something at him who has always taught them he was beyond reproach, and has instilled such fear in them. At this moment Mrs. Always Right should be groveling in guilt— and there she is, still standing, with a mixture of shock and defiance on her face. All those people that are clustered around Mrs. Always Right seem to be sympathizing with her. Imagine, Mr. Pole thinks in his chagrin, being classed with an ordinary, everyday bum, and called a liar—and by St. Peter, no less!
"Well," says St. Peter, "I want to tell you something. I was one of Christ’s Disciples, and I did not ever have the keys to Heaven or Hell either. I proclaimed the Gospel of Jesus Christ: salvation through faith and grace. I was a sinner, and as I think you have read, out of fear I denied that I ever knew Jesus. If you realized that you are a sinner, then you could never raise yourself onto a pedestal, and claim to show anything but compassion, love and grace. Jesus did not come to start a way, but beckoned us to follow Him, in His only way.
"All these people here are claiming to be the Only Way," St. Peter continues. "All through their lifetime, they have made that claim. None of the different kinds of Only Wayers agree with each other, and all have a different way for being the Only Way. I am here to tell you that none of you are in the Only Way, because none of you are following the only way to salvation, through Christ and His grace, truth and way. You have all tried to "climb up some other way" that has been started by power-hungry, greedy men.
"If you were a J. W.," St. Peter goes on, sounding as he must have after receiving the Holy Spirit in the Upper Room, "you would be standing here, claiming to be the Only Way. But I know that you despised the J. W.s, along with every preacher, pastor and church on the face of the earth that was not in your Only Way. Common sense should tell you, if nothing else does, that there is something very wrong with the whole Only Way scenario."
Mrs. Always Right and some of her peers are trying to digest the facts of Truth that are becoming evident. They had been rooked. They alternated between denial, based on their years of brain-washing, and trickles of reality that are slowly seeping into their heads.
Mr. Pole has gone completely berserk, and is ranting and raving, about losing face, and power and control, and being reduced to a nobody, and being forced to serve, and being told he is just an ordinary sinner, like all those others he calls false prophets.
Now Mr. Pole wonders where William Irvine is. Irvine had been going to come back with Christ as one of His witnesses. If he could find old Willy, maybe Willy could save him–? St. Peter would hardly have the nerve to argue with a prophet, for goodness sake, and one of such importance that he was going to appear with Christ in person.
Mrs. Always Right is about to do another startling thing. She gets up, shakes off the Propper - Uppers, and goes over and throws herself down in front of St. Peter’s feet. To her surprise, St. Peter rebukes her, and says, "Stand up! You must never worship anyone but God. I was a mere man! Do not even consider worshipping me. And just for the record, as I said, I was not a saint, but a sinner, just like you and everyone else. By God’s grace and mercy I am here; and but for God's grace, I would be just like Mr. Pole."
Mrs. Always Right feels fairly foolish, but old habits die hard, and she is so used to worshipping someone that she still wants to. In the meantime, the wailing in the lineup has increased, and the more they all hear St. Peter speaking to Mr. Pole, whether they were 2X2's, Mormons or J. W.s or any other Only Way, the more they are all getting the impression that they have been conned.. None of them are happy campers, and most of them by now are totally lost for words, or any other recourse. The new arrivals, who feel depressed and unworthy, are crying that they just knew they would never make it, and although they had tried and tried, it was no surprise to them that they had "lost out."
Mass Confusion—Part 6
St. Peter is not finished with Mr. Pole yet. He asks Mr. Pole to step forward, and Mrs. Always Right shudders to think what he might ask Mr. Pole next. She shuddered even more thinking about the answers that Mr. Pole would give. Standing up to St. Peter seems too much for Mr. Pole, and she cannot believe how intimidated he had been. She has seen people in her lifetime quake with fear, and tremble when called on the carpet by Mr. Pole, but this is nothing short of ridiculous.
"Mr. Pole," says St. Peter, "is it true or not that several years ago you circulated a letter informing your group, called among other things ‘the Friends,’ telling them that the Internet was evil and everything on it pertaining to your ‘way’ was a pack of lies? Did you also tell them if they received any tracts or books referring to your way, to burn them? I believe you have been known to discourage any of your troops from having anything to do with the World, meaning, particularly, anyone who departed from your Only Way. And did you not encourage their former peers to shun such people?"
Mr. Pole clears his throat several times, but does not manage to reply. St. Peter goes on, "Many families have been ostracized or broken up because of your narrow-minded way, and I would like you to tell me how all this fits in with following Jesus."
- Did not Jesus command you to love your neighbor as yourself, love your enemies, and do good to anyone you felt was treating you wrong?
- Did you even consider the pain and suffering that this policy of yours caused?
- Would you call it a light burden?
- Did not Jesus go out of His way to go into "the world" to save and help sinners?
- Did not Jesus say that we are to be easily entreated, open and honest, and approachable?
- Wasn’t He, among other things, the Mighty Counselor, helping everyone that was burdened and in any kind of trouble? What kind of counseling tells people to shun anyone?
- Did He not caution about putting on men’s shoulders burdens too great to bear?
- Did He not preach forgiveness ? Did He not eat with and visit, and put Himself out for, sinners?"
St. Peter is warming to his topic. Mr. Pole can’t get a word in edgewise, but looks this way and that as if for support. St. Peter goes on, "What about the effort Jesus put forth to go and find one sheep that was lost ? Did He not invite everyone to cast their burdens on Him, and didn’t He promise that He would carry them? Did he not say that His burden was light and His yoke was easy? In the wedding feast parable, didn’t he include as guests the halt, the lame and the blind? Did He not say that any of His people were invited into His banqueting house, and His banner over them is love?"
St. Peter has a full head of steam. His voice rings out with authority. "It is Christ’s job to separate the tares from the wheat, and it is not your business. Can you tell me, Mr. Pole, just where your love fits into all this? And while we are at it, I would also like to know why you think that Salvation is ran like a lottery. Do you think that when Jesus offers to save you, and says that anyone who believes on Him will be saved, He gives everyone a number, and if you are lucky and get the winning number, then you will be saved ? Do you think that Salvation is just the luck of the draw? Jesus said they would be saved, not that they might be!
"Do you, Mr. Pole, have any concept of grace?" thunders St. Peter. Then he waits for an answer.
Well, to give Mr. Pole credit, he is speechless. With each question St. Peter has asked, he has become weaker and more subdued. His agitation has given way to nervousness and then to cringing submission. At St. Peter’s final question, he slumps down in a dead faint. The Propper-Uppers are powerless to support him.
Mrs. Always Right is struggling to let some of St. Peter’s conversation with Mr. Pole sink in, and to digest the questions that have been asked. She spots someone coming toward her, and wants to shrink out of sight. It is a dear friend who once was so close to her, and who has left the Only Way and gone into the world. Mrs. Always Right, ever looking for good works to do, has never spoken to this woman since. Some of the tracts and books that have landed on Mrs. Always Right’s doorstep she had no doubt had came from her friend, complete with the URLs of Websites, but she burned all that trash. Mr. Pole had been adamant that these people were all from the devil, and Mrs. Always Right had been very bold and forthright in telling those bitter exes exactly that.
Still dreading an encounter with her old friend, and thinking of what St. Peter has been saying, Mrs. Always Right reflects that those works that she did so faithfully are what makes her bag so heavy. With her mind in turmoil, she tries to decide what she must do in the light of her dawning understanding. St. Peter has made it very clear, from Scripture, no less, that there is something very seriously wrong with the kind of Holy Spirit that Mr. Pole has preached.
Mrs. Always Right realizes for the very first time that she does not even know the Jesus that St. Peter has been talking about, and that she has spent a lifetime living in guilt and fear—when it seems that she could have been enjoying, peace, joy and hope. She has this mad desire to go over and give Mr. Pole a good shaking up, but decides against it, because she does not want him revived. She has had quite enough of him, and it is best to just let him be.
Mrs. J. W. and Mrs. Mormon seemed to be getting along, and in complete agreement. Mrs. Always Right overhears one of them say that they have all been conned big time. The two later arrivals, who have lived a lifetime of discouragement and unworthiness, seem to have perked up.
Mrs. Always Right braces herself for a conversation with her old friend. and while waiting for the woman to approach, glances up to discover that the line is getting longer and longer. Apparently there has been a plane crash, with a lot of Only Way people aboard, on their way to a convention of some kind. What with the combination of a whole lot of different Only Wayers, The Few that Mrs. Always Right has been so proud to be among have turned into the Many. Their line is much longer than the straight and narrow one. Mrs. Always Right does not think she can stand much more.
Mass Confusion—Part 7
The line up is getting longer and very much wider, and Mrs. Always Right is astounded at how many people there are who all think they are in the Only Way. There are so many in fact that St. Peter has to get a microphone to be heard. As Mrs. Always Right braces herself for the meeting with her friend, Grace Hope, Grace stops about twenty feet from Mrs. Always Right, who notices that others are joining Grace Hope.
At that moment St. Peter steps up to the microphone and says, "I see that there are many here who have got quite a shock. Your God-given reasoning power should tell you that there cannot be so many Only Ways that are all different, with each one thinking they alone are the Only Way. So for the sake of the newly enlightened we have arranged a meeting. Accompanying Grace Hope are Charity, Angela and others who will be speaking, to tell you about the real Only Way. Anyone who is interested in finding out how you can obtain the gift of Salvation through Grace can go to the room on your right."
Mr. Pole has regained consciousness and seems to be re-energized. "Do not go there," he shouts to those who are heading for the room indicated by St. Peter. "Those are the Devil and the Devil’s angels. They are trying to trick you, and entice you away from the Only Perfect Way. Do not be fooled. There is only One Way whereby you can be saved, and that is the Way of the Friends and Workers. You will go to Hell if you leave the Only Way. Those people who have left it are angry, vindictive and bitter. They are trying to get revenge by taking you out of the Way. Do not listen to their lies!"
No one is paying the least bit of attention to Mr. Pole, and a great number are lining up to go into the room on the right. It is not very long before there is a great din coming from the room, where a lot of them have gone. Mr. Pole can not believe his ears, as shouts of "Hallelujah!", "Praise the Lord", "Thank you, Jesus!", all accompanied by the strains of Amazing Grace, fill the area. It sounds as if there is a chorus of angels, accompanying themselves on harps.
In the room, when she can be heard, Grace Hope says that any one who wants to receive the gift of Grace and Faith can go over to the Heart’s Door and open it, and they will be handed their gifts, which are theirs to keep for life. Mrs. Always Right beats everyone else to the door. The look of rapture and joy on her face, as she receives the entire package of the Gift of Salvation, is something to behold. All she can say, over and over again, is "Amazing grace! Amazing grace!"
Then all of a sudden Mrs. Always Right seems to be floating. She looks around and can not believe her eyes, She is being lifted up by an innumerable company of angels. She hears herself singing a song that she has not sung in meetings or conventions, a song that is not in Hymns Old and New. "Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me!"
Suddenly Mrs. Always Right hears "Ding, ding , ding!" It sounds like the noise that a big machine makes when it is backing up. She feels someone shaking her, and calling "Always—"
Mass Confusion—Part 8
"Always" seems to quit floating through the air, and all she can hear is that beep, beep, beep heavy equipment back-up warning that is so annoying, and that voice calling insistently, "Always, Always. . .," then "Always, wake up!".
She flings her arm out to stop the beeping, which shuts off the alarm clock.
Mrs. Always Right opens her eyes just a fraction, and sees her husband Earnest looking very alarmed. "My dear," he says, "What on earth is the matter? You have been thrashing around, moaning and groaning and talking gibberish, most of the night. In the last little while you have had a very silly grin on your face, and have been shouting ‘Grace, grace!’ at the top of your lungs."
"Oh Earnest," says Always, "I have been to Hell and back, I have had the worst nightmare you could ever imagine. Then I have had such an incredible experience, and I finally have the full concept of Grace, versus all my bag of tricks! You will never believe where I have been and what I have learned. It was like a vision, so real and personal. Now I know I have been a complete and total fool.
"Do you remember Grace Hope, Earnest?" asks Always. "Well, she was in my dream, and she told me all about grace, God’s grace. And I have been so unkind to her! I must ring her up and talk to her right now! Remember how you and I have talked, and remember all the little red flags that have disturbed us, and the questions we asked which were never answered–? We decided to just try and keep earning Brownie Points, and not rock the boat?"
Always interrupts herself to ask a question that has just occurred to her. "What day is this, Earnest?"
"This is Thursday," answers Earnest.
"What wonderful timing," grins Always. "This is the day that Power Pole and Jim Axeworthy are coming for supper, and do I have a surprise for them! This day is going to be the first day of the rest of our lives, and won’t Grace Hope get a surprise when I call her and ask her to join us for dinner!"
"Do you want me to take something out of the freezer for supper?" inquires Earnest .
"No," replies Always, "that will not be necessary. Power Pole and Jim Axeworthy will be ordering in."
"What?" yelps Earnest in alarm. "Have you completely lost your senses?"
"No," says Always, "I have finally got my senses back. Please just go along with my plans. I know what I am doing. Today is the day when we will be excommunicated, and the endurance test will be over once and for all."
At the look of bewilderment on his face, Always explains to her husband, "Earnest, in my dream, I died and arrived at the Pearly Gates. Much to my surprise, instead of getting right into Heaven– and God knows I have been good enough, and had my purse jammed full of Brownie Points and works– I discovered that there were hundreds of people in the same lineup, and that all claimed to be in the Only Way to Heaven. I was so terrible distraught, and St. Peter questioned Power Pole, and you should have seen him stammering and stuttering. Then I finally threw the whole purse full of Brownie Points at Power Pole, and he screamed at me and made a perfect jackass out of himself. It was Power Pole’s turn to be intimidated, and he lost all his Brownie Points, and shivered and shook, and had to be held up by all the Propper-Uppers several times, and finally fainted dead away. Everyone there was in a terrible state, and there was so much lamenting, a person could not hear themselves think.
"Yes," Always fairly sings, "today is going to be a wonderful day. My eyes have been opened and I have seen the Glory of the Lord, and opened the door, and received the wonderful, incredible Gift of Salvation by grace, and I am free from bondage, and know that the only way to Heaven is by the sacrifice that Jesus made for me! And no man can ever take His place as our Savior."
"Well," says Earnest, still somewhat confused, "it all does sound fantastic, but I must say I am nervous about not providing any food for supper."
"Don’t worry," responds his wife, "we will teach Power Pole how to serve." With that announcement, Always reaches over to the night stand, grabs her fake bun, gets up and drops it in the waste can— then asks her dear husband to please make her an appointment at the hair dresser’s.
Mass Confusion—Part 9
Always has a very fun day. She has her hair cut and styled, then gets a facial and a manicure. Her nails match the color of the very attractive rose-colored pant suit she buys. Her costume is completed by a frilly, white blouse and new white sandals. On the way home she nearly runs the car into the ditch, as she tries to survey herself in the rear view mirror. For the first time in her life she feels vibrantly alive. She looks years younger, and she has an urge to dance and sing praises to Jesus for delivering her from her lifelong obsession with Brownie Points and works.
As Always pulls into her driveway, she spots Grace Hope just pulling up to the curb at the front of her house. Always leaps out of her car to greet Grace, who is so astounded she can hardly follow the events of the past few hours.
"You look wonderful, my dear Always," exclaims Grace. "I really did not think that I would ever see the day that you would be delivered, although I have hoped and prayed for you constantly."
"Oh, Grace," replies Always, with tears sliding down her face, "please, please forgive me, for how badly I treated you. How could I have ever believed that a God of love and grace would condone such unloving behavior?"
"You are forgiven," says Grace, "and not only forgiven but loved. Please do not mention it again: what is past is past.".
When they get to the door and open it, Earnest, who is waiting for them, gasps. "My oh my, who is this you have brought with you, Grace?"
"Oh," says Grace, laughing, "it is just your old, raggedy wife."
"I find that hard to believe," responds Earnest, and gathers Always up in his arms and gives her a humongous hug. They hardly have time to recover when the door bell peels, and Always rushes to open the door.
On the steps stand Power Pole and Jim Axeworthy. They both do a double take, and can only gasp, "Always?"
Always takes their hands and ushers them in and then gives each in turn a huge bear hug, along with the joyful statement: "Jesus loves you!"
Power comes close to having a seizure, and while brushing himself off, as if trying to get rid of cooties, says very sternly, "Always, I have no idea what has come over you, but something is terribly wrong. I do not appreciate such a flagrant show of emotions, and just look at how you are clothed, and your hair and your face are a mess. Please get a grip on yourself."
Always starts to laugh, and echoes, "Get a grip on myself? Why, I have got more than a grip on myself," she hoots, I have a grip on Eternal Life. And– I am in the grip of grace."
Before Power can answer, Always asks, "Power, do you have any money?" He responds that he has some, so Always says, "Be a love, and run down to the corner, and order us some Chinese food, and I am sure you will not mind paying for it, and serving us, for a change."
Power has paled, and Jim looks almost as bad.
‘Of course,’ thinks Power, ‘Grace Hope is the problem here. She is the Devil that has caused Always to lose her senses. I warned all my sheep to stay away from these corrupt people, and those evil False Prophets who are preaching all that bunk about grace.’
Power does not know what to do or say. He is certainly not going to go and order any food and pay for it, much less serve anyone. He needs a few more moments to think.
Power Pole turns on Grace Hope, and does not check what comes out of his mouth. "Grace, I hold you and your lies responsible for the change for the worse in Always."
Grace opens her mouth to respond, but before she can say a word in her own defense, Always is laughing again. "Sorry, wrong again," Always tells Power Pole, "Grace had nothing to do with this. Why don't you sit down for a moment before you go get the food– you look pretty shaky and exhausted from all the good work that you do."
Jim is rubbing his hands together as if to get the circulation flowing. ‘He is probably sharpening his axe,’ thinks Always with a giggle, as they all take their seats.
Mass Confusion—Part 10
When they are all seated, Always turns to Power and Jim and says,. "This is our house, and as we pay the ,mortgage, I feel justified in asking you, to remain silent while I attempt to tell you a few things that have been ‘laid on my heart’ lately. This, if you will, is my testimony.
"Recently Jesus knocked at my heart’s door. I invited Him in. When He knocked it was an invitation to let Him in. I accepted that invitation, and by His grace and the power of the Holy Spirit, I have been made worthy, accepted, and totally cleansed and forgiven. All guilt and fear have been removed, and now I know that I can serve Him with love. I no longer have to fear what man can do to me. I threw away my bag of ‘tricks.’ I accepted the gifts of faith, grace and hope. I no linger have to wonder if I can ‘make it.’ He has promised me that I will."
Power and Jim are staring at Marge in growing disapproval as she continues: "I do not have to go through any men to obtain salvation, and that includes both of you. No one can take Christ's place on the Cross. There are hundreds of thousands of people on this earth who claim to be walking in the Only Way to Heaven, and hundreds of thousands belong to some other way. Well, there cannot be several only ways. All these people are sincere people who believe in their Only Ways, but that does not make them right. Jesus never came to start a way, but He was, and is, the one and only way."
Power Pole seems to be about to speak, but Marge continues, "No one has a monopoly on God. The invitation is open to all those that believe." Power and Jim are just itching to use the axe. There is no way that these people can be a part of the Only Way Fellowship, now, and a quick execution is the only way to go. Power signals Jim, to chop, but as Jim starts to speak, Always beats him to it.
"Excuse me Jim," she says, "I just need a few more moments. We can no longer tolerate the doctrine you adhere to. We will not be attending any more of your meetings, conventions, or any other form of worship connected to your organization. We have a lot of work to do. I have been asked by Christ to go into the world and proclaim His Gospel. I am particularly interested, in bringing His message of Grace to other Only Wayers who are in bondage as I have been. We will be praying for you, that your eyes will be opened, and that you will gladly accept the invitation to be part of the real Good News, the true Gospel.
"This Gospel that I am talking about," Always goes on, "is the gospel of unconditional love and unmerited favor. This gospel is without partiality, and you are invited to be a part of it too. This gospel does not excommunicate and send people to Hell. This Gospel has no part in discouraging, depressing, putting people down, and making the Way as hard as possible. This gospel is about being liberated., and having freedom through Christ. It is about being redeemed by the blood of Christ and saved by grace. It is in your Bible if you would care to look it up."
Both Power and Jim look as if they have had the wind taken out of their sails, and it is a couple of moments before either of them recovers. There was dead silence in the room.
Finally they look at each other and then stand up. "I am very sorry to hear your spiel," says Power. "Of course you realize that you have lost out. There will be no reward waiting you at the end of the journey. Your destiny will be Hell. You have blasphemed against the only servants of God. Come Jim, we will shake the dust of this house off our feet."
"No dust," grins Always, "Earnest just vacuumed." They leave quickly, afraid that Always might decide to give them another show of affection. Jim hurriedly follows Power out to the shiny Cadillac waiting at the curb, and they stomp the dust off their feet all the way to it.
Always closes the door. She walks over to the stereo and puts in a disk. She turns slowly and walks back into the center of the room, where she joins hands with Earnest and Grace and they form a circle.
With the strains of Amazing Grace playing softly in the back ground, Always, Earnest and Grace Love praise and worship the Lord. They thank God for loving the world so much that He sent His only begotten Son, that they could be saved, anointed, glorified ,and made joint heirs with Him, through grace.
Then they each in turn offer up heartfelt prayers for those who have chosen rules, legalism and bondage over grace, freedom, and love.
They pray diligently for those who worship a system, and ask God to open the eyes of those poor, struggling souls in their Only Ways, and make them free in Christ.
